An Australian Son-in-Law Finds a Home in Plei Touneh

A Cross-Border Love Story

The love story of Congerton Matthew and Tounéh Ma Oanh, a Churu woman, is often described as a beautiful harmony. Villagers, particularly young people in the remote highlands, often share the story of their cross-border marriage. That was how I came to know about them and travelled to Tounéh to meet Congerton and Ma Oanh and tell their simple, heartwarming story.

As I arrived at the village entrance, I saw a tall foreign man riding a motorbike with a young Churu boy sitting behind him. Although I had not yet met him, I recognized him as Congerton Matthew. The boy was Ma Jas Minh, seven, Ma Oanh's son from a previous relationship.

Just as I expected, when I arrived at the house, Ma Oanh said: “Please come in and wait for my husband. He has just taken my son out to the main road for breakfast.”

A short while later, the Australian stepfather and the boy returned. Sitting with me in their home in Plei Touneh, alongside Ma Oanh's mother Ma Thieu, her aunt Ma Lo, and the couple, Congerton and Ma Oanh took turns caring for their two young children while telling me about their love story.

Ma Oanh was born in 1999. In 2024, she travelled to Perth, Western Australia, at the invitation of a close friend from the same ethnic community and hometown who had settled there. During trips to explore the Australian countryside with a group of friends, Congerton and Ma Oanh had the opportunity to get to know each other.

The civil engineer gradually fell for the Vietnamese woman, who was 16 years younger than him. The more they got to know each other, the more Congerton admired her gentle, simple nature and the charm of a young ethnic minority woman from a remote part of Vietnam that was unfamiliar to him.

Whenever he had the opportunity, he took Ma Oanh out and expressed his feelings for her.

Ma Oanh recalled: “To be honest, at first I felt very hesitant. I was a single mother, while he had never been married. Congerton's father was once a deputy mayor, and his family was well-off, while mine was very poor. He was a skilled engineer, whereas I was a farmer who had only completed high school. I told Congerton that we came from two different worlds. But he said those differences would not affect our happiness.”

After Ma Oanh returned to Vietnam, Congerton regularly called and messaged her. At the end of 2024, he travelled all the way to Plei Touneh to meet her and her family.

Even when they reunited in Ma Oanh's homeland, she continued to talk about differences in customs, culture and personal circumstances. Yet the Australian remained firm in his commitment to their relationship.

“What about his parents' attitude?” Ma Oanh was asked.

She replied: “His parents said they did not care about any of the differences. As long as their children were happy, they were happy too.”

During his first visit, Congerton stayed with Ma Oanh's family for two weeks. He was not concerned by their modest living conditions. Despite the differences in language, culture and daily customs, he quickly adapted to his wife's family and the village community.

He cared for everyone in the family, respected his parents-in-law and, in particular, loved and cared for his wife's son wholeheartedly.

Every morning, while the other members of the family were still asleep, he would wake Jas Minh, help him get ready, prepare breakfast and take him to school on an old motorbike.

Ma Oanh recalled: “My son is at the age when his personality is developing, so sometimes he can be stubborn and I get angry and scold him. He told me, ‘Don't scold him. Let me teach him and help him understand what he did wrong so he can correct it. Children can easily be hurt by harsh words.’”

Through his sincere and simple affection, Congerton won Ma Oanh's heart. Her son and parents also grew deeply fond of him. When Congerton returned to Tounéh for the second time, Ma Oanh truly opened her heart and was ready to build a life together with the man from Australia.

“This Village Is My Home”

From the moment she accepted his love and their wish to marry, Ma Oanh clearly explained the distinctive matrilineal traditions of the Churu people. Women have an important voice in the family, while husbands traditionally live with their wives' families.

On the wedding day, the bride's family goes to welcome the groom, presents wedding offerings to his family. Children traditionally follow the maternal lineage.

Congerton showed respect for and accepted these cultural traditions.

“We have completed the marriage procedures. Although he still works in Australia, Congerton has returned to Vietnam nine times over the past two years. Every time, he tries to stay as long as possible, especially since we had our baby, Congerton Tounéh Châu Sa. She is now six months old,” Ma Oanh said.

To spend more time in Vietnam with his wife and children, Congerton worked from 5 a.m. until late at night while in Australia, trying to complete as much of his work as possible at a major construction corporation.

The Australian engineer added: “I am ready to return to Plei Touneh and live with my wife's family. But for now, I have not yet been able to arrange my work properly, so I still have to travel between the two places. In the future, I want to settle permanently in Vietnam. I really like living in this countryside, where my wife, children and the people I love are.”

His words conveyed a genuine affection for his new home.

Every day living with his family and among the Churu community, Congerton has naturally adapted to the local culture, social customs, daily routines and food. He and his wife care for their two children, clean and repair the house, tend rice fields and work in coffee plantations just like other villagers.

After returning to Australia to earn his salary, the “Australian son-in-law” comes back to Tounéh and heads to local agricultural supply stores to buy fertilizer and pesticides for the family's fields and gardens.

“I like the friendliness of Vietnamese people. I like the simplicity of the Churu people, and I am deeply moved whenever I join the vibrant, colorful festivals of this ethnic minority community,” Congerton said.

Sitting with us, Ma Thieu, Ma Oanh's mother, occasionally interrupted to praise her son-in-law.

“Congerton is a foreigner who came from a distant country and is highly educated, but he never minds living with our family and in a village where living conditions are still modest. He sincerely respects and loves every member of my family. I am very fond of him. Giang has given my daughter Ma Oanh a good husband and our family a son-in-law we are happy with,” she said.

The warmest and most memorable moment for Ma Oanh and her family was the visit of her parents-in-law in November last year, one month after she gave birth.

From distant Australia, Mel Congerton and Barbara Congerton travelled thousands of kilometres to Plei Touneh, deep in the forests of Lam Dong, to visit their daughter-in-law, grandchild and her family.

During their two-week stay in Vietnam, the baby's grandparents enjoyed memorable days with their children, in-laws and the warm, hospitable Churu community. They explored local landscapes and heritage sites and experienced the distinctive culture of the Churu people.

Before leaving, the elderly Australian couple were visibly moved as they received traditional gifts from their in-laws and beloved daughter-in-law, including beaded strings, bracelets, rings and brocade scarves.

Saying goodbye, Congerton Matthew looked affectionately at his wife and children and shared words that seemed as much a reflection to himself as a message to me:

“This is my home. This village has now truly become my homeland, too.”